When do you stop caring about what other people think of you and why?

Well, let’s start with the second part of the question.

Why should you stop caring about what others think of you?

Because it is none of your business.

It is not about you it is about them.

Every time you see someone, say something about their hair, dress, presentation, etc. it is always your own opinion based on the beliefs you have about how someone should wear, behave or do something in a certain way.

If you don’t believe me, notice the number of times you catch yourself thinking about what you are going to say in response to what someone is telling you…🤔

This means YOU are processing what they are saying to you, interpreting them in your head based on what you already believe and responding accordingly. I bet you that 9 times out of 10 your response has nothing to do with what they were talking about. 😉

The sad thing is, I see so many people, including myself a few years ago, judge themselves based on the opinion of others, change their behaviours, stop being true to themselves and essentially live their lives externally!

One of my clients said:

“No matter how much I achieve and what job title I have I will never feel good enough! I was seeking the credibility, legitimacy and approval of others. I felt restless, overwhelmed, exhausted and anxious because I was overthinking my every move.  I spent too much time paying attention to other people’s thoughts and judgements, but didn’t realise this was draining me, and holding me back because I was leaving my own success to other people’s judgement!

So, when would be a good time to start caring about what others think of you?

I’d say right about now!😉

You see, people will judge you all day long. You have no control over that. You do the same to others 😮

Oh, I really like your hair: judgement’

Why is she wearing that? : judgment;

I really did not like the way she presented that: judgement

I love her perfume: judgment

So you have one of two choices here:

You can continue to think you can avoid being judged by others by changing your behaviour according to who you are with…

Or you can choose to do what pleases you, as by now you realise you cannot please everyone else, and live a happy life. 🥰

As a result, you might leave some people behind, but that’s a good thing…

Because as the great saying goes:

‘Those who matter don’t care;

Those who care don’t matter’

You can listen to Ian and I talk about this topic in a bit more detail on this week’s podcast Episode (55) here. 

If you would like to break the unhelpful cycle of caring so much about what others think of you and living your life by others’ expectations of you then book a call with me here.

Until next time…