Where Do You Live From?

Funny question, right? It is not really. All I am asking is where do you live from, your feelings, your faith or facts? Because believe it or not, one of these is the main driver of your mood on a daily, or even moment by moment, basis. So, what?

So far I talked about who you think you are, is almost always associated with your role in life. I also mentioned, however, that who you act and behave like is mainly dependent on not just the role you play but the roles/labels you put on other people. I know you are keen to find out the answer to the question I asked in the first two blogs. If you missed them, check them out here (first article, second article), before you read this one.

However, before you can even find who you truly are, you need to take a step back and go a little deeper to understand yourself better, and it starts here.

Let’s come back to the question above: where do you live from; your feelings, your faith or facts; and review them all in order.

Living from your feelings: What’s wrong with that? Life is great, sun is shining, you are healthy, you just got the job you always wanted; you are so happy, in fact you are on top of the world… until, that is, someone says something that you don’t like and it makes you sad; someone just cut in front of you on the road, you are furious; you just got a bad day at the office; or your presentation didn’t quite go to plan and your confidence is at rock bottom; you are utterly devastated and as your feelings create more thoughts this turns into anxiety… Well, hang on, where you not just so happy a moment ago? Now you are so sad, furious, devastated, anxious?

I know you are only human but do you see what this could do to you if you constantly lived by your feelings? You are up and down like a yo-yo. There is no consistency. You are very unstable. One moment you are happy, next moment you are sad, furious, anxious.

Do you also see what would it be like to be around someone like this constantly? It would drain the energy out of your every cell. Think about the effect you have on the people you are with on a daily basis. Do you see what I mean now?

Living from your faith: Some people base their whole life around faith. Religion is a good example. When their faith is strong, life is good, but when their faith becomes weak, the expectations aren’t met and they become disappointed. People who live by faith could become controlling, they need you to submit to them and to be controlled by them.

However, faith, in fact, has nothing to do with religion. Faith is a ‘doing’ word. You either live by faith or you don’t. Faith is always an action taken by you stepping out of your comfort zone and taking a risk on uncertainty. This is all well and good, of course, until your ‘faith’ becomes weak (a bit like the yo-yo feelings) and you are ruled by your fears and don’t have the courage to step out. Then you step into a whole new place of disappointment and downward spiral.          

So what do feelings and faith have in common? They are both up and down, they are both inconsistent and they are both unreliable, when they are the only thing that rule your life.

Living a life based only upon facts. Facts are based upon the truth that is relevant for your life at any given time. What would that be like? Imagine the person who cut in front of you on the road, the one that made you furious; based upon your feelings that is. What if you found out the person who cut in front of you had a passenger with a life-threatening injury with them? Then what? Everything changes doesn’t it, when you find out the facts. You are not so mad anymore. You start to reason with the person and let him go in his way. More importantly you get on with your day without going mad and feeling like a yo-yo.

The facts are not only about the truth between you and the people you interact with on a daily basis; but also the truth about who you are. Because this becomes your foundation in life. Once you become secure in who you actually are, you become absolutely unshakable-despite any external factors.

When you build a life around anything other than facts/the truth, you are building a life on a very shaky ground. But when you understand who you are you become more grounded and you begin to stabilise your emotions and therefore emotional reactions to events in life. When you become free from emotions, then you become free from problems.

For example, the economy can collapse, but if you are grounded and secure in who you are that doesn’t change the way you feel about it, because you are in control, so it no longer is a problem. This means your security isn’t caught up in the economy; or whether other people accept you or not. Your security is grounded in the firm truth of who you are and this is what sets you free.

Are you intrigued to find out how you can have more control over feelings, emotions and therefore have more control in your life and set yourself free?

…Then stay tuned.